The Wall

I sit, my back to the wall
I dont know why I cant move
I am afraid, although I’m not sure why
Maybe I’m afraid of what I will do
Or what I have done
I cannot move
I just sit, huddled against the wall
Thankful of its support in my time of need
I cannot say what I should have done
Or should do
The darkness behind the wall is inpenetrable
It eats away at me
It erodes my soul
I know that I can stop it
But I dont move
I cannot move against it
It is what I have made it
It is strong
I know its weakness
I can overcome it
And yet the wall still holds my weight
The fear I feel
Is just my mind playing an evil game
A game I can win
It’s my turn
Bishop or Queen?
Which way do I move?
Where can I go?
I cant quit
I cant give up
But what do I do?
The wall is so steady
It holds me easily
I can see it beginning to crack
To let the darkness through
To eat
What can I do?
My options are clear
But clouded by my fear
I cannot stay here
I must make my move
But I can’t yet
It is not the time
I pray that the wall will withold a while longer
While I sit against it
And cry.

~SHANE EDE 1999