Not too very long ago, our family expanded by one golden retriever.  We got him as a puppy and he’s not yet old enough to have outgrown that puppy faze.  Which means that he chews on just about anything he can get his jaws on.  Whether he should or not.  We’ve lost numerous pairs of shoes, hundreds (I’m not kidding) of children’s toys, and several pillows for our couch.  The list of things that the dog has eaten is a very long list, and we are still searching for something that he won’t attempt to ingest.

By far, his favorite thing, is dirty baby clothes.  Not necessarily the clothes that have been stained by poop, but those that have been stained by baby food, formula, and slobber.  I’ve lost count of how many onesies we’ve found with the chest area missing because he thought they would make a great snack.

Obviously, that isn’t healthy for him.  Fortunately for him (and us) he’s been able to pass everything that he’s eaten so far.  Or at least we think he has.  Picking up the yard is always a bit of a treasure hunt.  You’ll never know what random thing you’ll find out there.

On several occasions, his eyes have outdone his stomach.  On those occasions, we usually wake up in the middle of the night with a very wet, vomit spot with some article of clothing at it’s epicenter.  It’s not pleasant.  Especially if you find it by stepping on/in it.  Tonight was an occasion where he ate something that his stomach just didn’t like.  Best I can tell with my limited forensic abilities (C.S.I. only teaches you so much, and who has the tools?) he managed to eat several inches of a rope dog toy and about 25% or so of a baby towel.  The rope was probably ok, but when it was combined with the mass of towel, it caused a bit of a problem for him.

Just before bed time, he went outside and proceeded to eat his weight in grass.  It’s a common dog ploy to make themselves vomit.  However, it didn’t seem to be working.  I was beginning to wonder if he was in a bit of trouble.  So, like any good technophile, I did a google search.  For “make a dog vomit”.  Lo and behold!  The google has the cure.  Hydrogen Peroxide.

Now, imagine me taking a squeeze bulb that holds 1 teaspoon, filling it with hydrogen peroxide, and then making my 80 pound golden retriever sit and forcing it down his throat.  Not once, but three times.  According to the resources that I found, that’s only about 1/2 of the recommended dosage for a dog of his size.  But it worked.  I gave it a few minutes to work, and then he took off at a sprint out into the yard and promptly divulged his stomachs secrets.

Then, at 11:30 at night, I used a very small rake from my son’s sandbox to pick up the remnants and huck them over the back fence so that he wouldn’t try and re-ingest the offending items.

These are the things that they don’t tell you when you become a dog owner.  Come to think of it, it’s very similar to becoming a parent.  Everyone is sure to tell you all the obvious pitfalls, but they never mention the other stuff.  It seems that some things you just have to experience…